glorycloud's Diaryland Diary

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the ecstatic love which nailed and held Jesus to the cross

It is a bitter cold Saturday afternoon here in Western Michigan. It is snowing and it is 20 degrees outside, icy cold.

I am as usual extremely tired. Once again pain woke me up at 4:45 AM this morning. So I got up and dozed on the sofa till 6 o'clock AM and then came upstairs to make oatmeal for breakfast. Carol left at 7:20 AM to meet a friend for breakfast. So I ate my mush alone and then Carol read 'New Morning Mercies' and we prayed. After morning prayer Carol left to meet her friend for breakfast and to do errands before coming home. I spent the morning mainly writing in my paper diary and reading, 'The Dark Night' by St. John of the Cross.

Carol got home from her outing around 10:30 AM. I was still reading 'The Dark Night' when Carol arrived home.

There is not much else to report this afternoon. I am thinking of brushing my teeth and going back to bed down in the lower level.

Last night I read once again from a memoir titled, 'Long Quiet Highway: Waking Up In America' by Natalie Goldberg before going to bed.

I did leave the house for a short space of time late morning to visit our near by Goodwill thrift store to look at their used books. I found one used book at Goodwill to buy titled, 'Memphis Afternoons: A Memoir' by James Conaway.

Since I feel cold and tired plus my feet hurt I will close. Tomorrow will be the last Sunday of January 2022.

"5. When all the desires and energies of the soul, then, have been recollected in this enkindling of love, and when the soul itself has been touched and wounded in them all, and has been inspired with passion, what shall we understand the movements and digressions of all these energies and desires to be, if they find themselves enkindled and wounded with strong love and without the possession and satisfaction thereof, in darkness and doubt? They will doubtless be suffering hunger, like the dogs of which David speaks as running about the city177; finding no satisfaction in this love, they keep howling and groaning. For the touch of this love and Divine fire dries up the spirit and enkindles its desires, in order to satisfy its thirst for this Divine love, so much so that it turns upon itself a thousand times and desires God in a thousand ways and manners, with the eagerness and desire of the appetite. This is very well explained by David in a psalm, where he says: ‘My soul thirsted for Thee: in how many manners does my soul long for Thee!’178—that is, in desires. And another version reads: ‘My soul thirsted for Thee, my soul is lost (or perishes) for Thee.’" "The Dark Night' Bk.2 Chapter 11 St John of the Cross

1:39 p.m. - 2022-01-29

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