glorycloud's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ontological anxiety It is 10:20 AM Sunday morning. I am not in church worshiping the Lord, but sitting here writing some words. I just got back from walking Rudy around downtown Holland and getting a mocha at Lemonjello's. While at Lemonjello's coffee cafe I looked through the Sunday New York Times. I just look through Arts and the New York Book Reviews. I already know the world is going to the dogs. When I got home I found a quiet home to wait it out. I am glad I am not young. Carol got home from work around 9 o'clock AM this morning. She is off from work tonight. She told me ought to go to church tonight. Last Sunday evening Caleb Jon called to wish his mother Happy Mother's Day around the time Carol gets ready to go to church. This morning Carol told me really did not feel last Sunday and would have not gone to church even our son Caleb had not called. Life takes its ounce of blood on you. I can not remember the last time I sat in on a Presbyterian worship service. In my old age my memory is becoming worn out. This morning I got up around 7 o'clock AM. I made a pot of coffee and got the Sunday morning newspapers off the front area of our home. I ate some food and then messed with the computer. I sat in the dining room drinking coffee till Carol got home from work. So existence keeps rolling along full speed. We are being carried along the River of Time full speed. It is either sink or swim. Last night I watched television and read "The Great War and Modern Memory" by Paul Fussell. It is a lovely Spring morning and I feel restless. But there is no place to go. It is too wet to walk in the woods today. I should finish reading the Book of Numbers/the Old Testament/the Bible. The Lord Jesus believed Moses wrote the first five books of the Old Testament; "Abraham said to him, "They have Moses and the prophets; let them hear them. And he said, 'No, father Abraham; but if one goes to them from the dead, they will repent.' But he said to him, 'If they do not hear Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded though one rise from the dead." Luke 16:29-31. The Lord Jesus also believed in a historical Adam, because Moses wrote about him. So if all this is true one can not believe in evolution. ("the son of Enosh, the son of Seth, the son of Adam, the son of God" Luke 3:38) It is 10:40 AM Sunday morning right now. I really have nothing pressing on my mind this morning. Something I read in the book "Transforming Spirituality: Integrating Theology and Psychology" by F. LeRon Shults & Steven J. Sandage has been on my mind a lot. I will quote from this book--- "This dialectical being-present in dependent relation to the other shapes the creaturely longing to become free, to belong-to and be longed-for in intimate communion. My sense of being-present to my self is already given in the presence of the other, and so I cannot be the ultimate ground of my own being. Ontological anxiety arises when I realize that I do not have sufficient being to secure the presence of others or my self, much less to maintain a gravitational hold on the infinite reality of God. If the other abandons me or turns his or her face away, then I feel the pain of metaphysical isolation. If the other uses his or her presence to crush me or face me down, I feel the pain of metaphysical incarceration. This dialectical tension leaves me vulnerable as I struggle to feel free in the presence of the other." pg. 138 I keep going over and over in my mind those words; "Ontological anxiety arises when I realize that I do not have sufficient being to secure the presence of others." "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." John 13:34,35 Well it is 10:58 AM late Sunday morning. The sun is shining and existence keeps disappearing. I will close to regroup. music: Akron/Family 11:01 a.m. - 2010-05-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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