glorycloud's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- #100 Jonathon Bender (Fictional Character) Thursday, May 13, 2010 Inanimate Object Week: #100 Jonathon Bender (Fictional Character) 1966 Conceived, probably on his father�s birthday, in San Clemente, California. 1967 Born during The Great Midwest Blizzard in Lansing, Michigan. 1968 Cannot do much for himself. 1969 The birth of his brother, Robert. 1970 Fears taking baths. 1971 Fails to blow out the candles on his birthday cake. 1972 Breaks a window with his face. 1973 Falls in love with his babysitter. 1974 Cannot stop hiccupping. 1975 His father teaches him how to fight. 1976 Wears red, white, and blue clothes every day for a whole summer. 1977 Tries to stop his father from choking his mother. 1978 Runs away from home again and hides from his father in the neighbor�s garage. 1979 Thinks cancer is contagious. 1980 Begins high school. 1981 Finds his father�s pornography and begins to learn about women. 1982 His first visit to a psychiatrist. 1983 His first sexual experience with a girl who is not in a magazine. 1984 Loses virginity; does not want it back. 1985 Breaks up with first real girlfriend. 1986 Tries to hug his father, but his arms are not long enough. 1987 His parents separate. 1988 Stops going to class or studying. 1989 Graduates from college. 1990 Disappears for a year. 1991 Chases a tornado. 1992 Meets Sara Olson, who recognizes him from television. 1993 Starts living with Sara. 1994 Attempts to make it rain; fails. 1995 Attempts to conceive a child with Sara; fails. 1996 Committed to a mental hospital by Sara. 1997 Sara separates from him. 1998 Begins looking for his childhood. 1999 Tries to remember his whole life. [Note: This piece was originally published in No Colony #1 and then in Dear Everybody.] 11:17 a.m. - 2010-05-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||