glorycloud's Diaryland Diary


as we confess Christ as our Liberator, so we are liberated through the power of his Spirit

as we confess Christ as our Liberator, so we are liberated through the power of his Spirit

It is a cold dark rainy snowy evening. I am so tired this evening that I do not feel like writing anything. I have a ton of stuff on my mind that I would like to write down, but I am too tired from work. Work was hard today. I am glad tomorrow is a Friday the end of another workweek. I need the weekend to recover from the workweek. I received nothing in the mail today. All I have read today is the book "The Church: Sacraments, Worship, Ministry, Mission" by Donald Bloesch. These verses from the Bible have been on my mind today-I like to read these verses to all those who claim to be Christians but have no zeal to serve or know the Lord. "Now he who received seed among the thorns is he who hears the word, and the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and he becomes unfruitful" Luke 13:22; "He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it" Luke 10:37-39; "38: Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house.

39: And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus' feet, and heard his word.

40: But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.

41: And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:

42: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:38-42

I will close to rest-I plan to go to bed soon.

I wrote these words today at work on a piece of paper "barbecue chicken/how are you going to make it?" I wrote these words to remind me of something to write in my livejournal-this morning I picked up Phin Lo on the way to work-his car is still not repaired-so I have been taking him to work and bring him home-this morning as we drove to work he went on and on about the barbecue chicken he bought yesterday as we were headed home from work-for twenty minutes Phin Lo talked about barbecue chicken-how he ate it-how his father-in-law enjoyed eating it with him-as Phin Lo talked I was wondering how I was going to make it through another work day-another day at the bottom of the egg pit? I felt so bad inside-so depressed-so defeated-when I drive to work I usually am praying for God to help me to keep going down the road of death-I also pray for my wife and kids-I pray for God to save us from our sins-to have mercy on me on my wife and kids-I pray for the Lord to make us new creations-give us repentance and saving faith-so as we drove to work Phin Lo kept raving about barbecue chicken and I was silently looking to the Lord to help me face my dead american existence at the bottom of the egg pit-the cold abyss. Today at work at the end of another work day my boss said to Phin Lo and me "another day in paradise" I do not see the egg pit as paradise-but as punishment-I have been rejected-I am at the egg pit because I have been rejected by the visible american church. When I look at Phin Lo I now see a physical reminder of being rejected by the american church world-he represents american christianity to me-I can not talk to him-relate to him-his presence brings pain-Phin Lo thinks he is a Christian but I have my doubts the more I work with him. How can one claim to be a Christian and have no spiritual knowledge-does not read the Bible-does not worship God-does not pray? Phin Lo finds the dead american world comfortable which is scary to me-I hate the world and long for heaven-well I will close to feel sad.

7:57 p.m. - 2002-10-17


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