glorycloud's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Act through inaction It is now in the flow of my life 8:20 PM Wednesday night. I am once again listening to music and waiting till something decent comes on TV. I am tired, but it is way too early to hit the sack. My wife has left for work and it is only Rudy and I this evening. After tonight my wife is off four nights. Existence keeps decaying. I did do yard work today. I did mow the lawn and hack at plant growth in our backyard this afternoon. I am thankful I did not have a heart attack as I was mowing our grass. I read after doing yard work from the book, "The Complete Works Of Isaac Babel" Edited By Nathalie Babel [Translated By Peter Constantine]. I have been mainly sitting in our dining room pondering and listening to music. Tomorrow I cover for someone at the Herrick Public Library used bookstore from 10 AM till 1 PM. There is nothing pressing on my mind this evening. I have been wondering though if when my mother was killed back in December 1968 if something in me also die. Because if something die in my back in December 1968 I have never caught up with my existence. It is like in someway my life ended in December 1968. I never got over the death of my mother. I have always seen myself as motherless and fatherless. I am alone. But then I tell myself I am a Christian. So in August 1970 when I started following the Lord Jesus I was reborn and I started living a spiritual life. Where does those lives merge into one existence now? I was telling my wife it always amazes me that people find something to do in life. I never wanted to do anything in life but be a soul winner or a Teaching Elder (a gospel minister). Because I always wanted to be a gospel preacher I never pursued being a writer. I could never be a writer because I am always wanting to tell people the Gospel of God. Now I am 61 years old and soon I will be getting social security. I can honestly tell people I am retired and not employed. Well I suppose I will close to sit and wait. I like the new Mastodon record. music: Mastodon "Once More Round The Sun" 8:36 p.m. - 2014-06-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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