glorycloud's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- microcosmic reenactments of creation microcosmic reenactments of creation It is going on 5:30 PM Friday night and I am beat from work. I am so tired I want to scream! I need to relax and not freak out. I am so tired that I want to scream. I have not been sleeping soundly lately so by the end of the work week I am wasted dead ready to scream. So here I sit at my computer trying to tell myself it is all going to be alright. Carol is sleeping, she goes to work tonight. Bethany works tonight and Josiah left to take a friend out for dinner. I have already cleaned up from the egg hell and eaten food. I am drinking a pepsi and listening to a CD I got in the mail today "The Day They Shot A Hole In The Jesus Egg" the other CD in this two CD The Flaming Lips package is titled "The Priest Driven Ambulance Album/Demos And Outtakes". I also got in the mail a book I had recently order, the book is titled "The Gospel Of Genesis: Studies in Protology and Eschatology" by Warren Austin Gage. Tonight I plan to watch the Fiesta Bowl. Last night I watched some of the Orange Bowl. I was too wasted to watch the second half of the Orange Bowl. I could see the way the game was going that USC would beat Iowa. I went to bed and read for 20 minutes the book "How to Read the Bible Book by Book: A Guided Tour" by Gordon D. Fee and Douglas Stuart. I did not sleep well last night due to pain in my hands and arms. My job is destroying my body! What gets me so upset is nobody cares at work that my job is destroying my arms and hands. I am just a clog in the egg processing machine. (Carol just got up to face her Life. She always makes a pot of coffee when she gets up. I do not drink coffee. I am drink either tea or pop. My wife loves coffee!) At work today I was so tired that I felt depressed inside. Weird to feel tired and sad at the same time. I also felt mad and frustrated today at work. I do not know why I was mad? I am angry at being forced to live the last days of my short life at the bottom of the egg pit. It seems such a waste of life energy, but I am living the american dream so why be mad? I must be extremely tired and need to pray to the Lord to help me SEE reality the way He sees it. I need a divine perspective on existence. Maybe I need to shut down my computer and just sit in silence before the Holy One? Tomorrow my OFF day I plan to do nothing but pray for divine healing. Sunday is church day and the first day of another work week. Josiah goes back to Calvin College next Tuesday. Well I will close to visit with my wife. 6:42 p.m. - 2003-01-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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