glorycloud's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- take the long black train It is 5:41 PM Wednesday evening and it is raining outside. It is suppose to be snowing by tomorrow. Today I worked from 7:15 AM till 3 o'clock PM. Drove home in a rain storm. Found Carol up when I got home from the war. She could not sleep so she got up to face a new work night. Since finding that website LibraryThing I have been cataloging my books after work. I try to limit myself to cataloging only 20 books a day since I could catalog books night and day. I keep telling myself I have plenty of time to catalog my book collection. So I try to not go crazy about cataloging my books. Right now I am basically cataloging the books I have on the first floor of our house. The core of my book collection is down in our open basement. I have around 400 books I think up here in the main floor of our love shack. I plan to go from one book case to the next when cataloging my books. I am on the last shelf in my main study and when I am finished cataloging those books I will catalog the books belonging to me in our dining room book case. Then it is down in the basement where there are thousands of books to catalog. I got my work cut out for me! I did go to bed around 8:55 PM last night. I plan to go to bed early tonight since I find living in this dead american world super exhausting. I hate the world and my job. I want to stay home and catalog my books and dream of a new world of light and love. At work I wrote down these words on a piece of scrap paper--- I have always been out of the inner circle [at work since we got a new manager I feel at the bottom of the totem pole-I am seen now by my masters as a lowly slave worthy of nothing not even pity-my old boss saw me as a brother and not a piece of meat to work to death] I can't stand the thought of being separated from her for eternity [how can one who loves his wife not want to be with her forever in heaven?] he wanders the plant wondering what can he find to do to break the spell of boredom and death [written while watching one of my co-workers wander the plant looking at his watch a million times a day] we are just feeding the herd for the slaughter [Romans 9:22] he is greasing the machine go baby! go baby! he feels good! 20 years ago I graduated from seminary Wow! how death flies! I do not want to exist anymore, I want to live Over and over I mutter these words to myself at the bottom of the death hole These are the words I wrote down on a piece of scrap paper as I hauled eggs speeding up the process of death. My co-workers must think I am crazy because I am always writing down words as I sink deeper and deeper into the hole of despair egg. Carol is in the kitchen making an apple pie. I am tired and I will close to rest my broken being. music: Hair Police "Constantly Terrified"
6:13 p.m. - 2006-10-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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