glorycloud's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- the great depression take the mirrors away from all my passive walls It is a cold Saturday morning and I have been waking up to music and a cup of tea. Carol should be home from work soon. I got up around 6:30 AM this morning because weird dreams woke me. I went to bed at 12:30 AM last night. I do not remember what I did last night? Last night Carol got up around 8 o'clock to face another work day. Carol and I talked and then I played for her a song by Tom Waits "Christmas Card From A Hooker In Minneapolis" from the CD "Tom Waits Used Songs 1973-1980". Carol left for work at 10:30 PM. I did not read anything last night. Bethany spent the night at a girlfriend's. Bethany will be home soon to get ready for work. I need to fix myself breakfast soon and then I do not know what I will do next? My day off will go by like it did last week. It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God It is now 9:08 AM Saturday morning Bethany came home as I was fixing myself breakfast. She is now getting ready to go to work. It is very cold outside this morning.Carol came home as I was about to sit down and eat my breakfast. As I ate she talked to me. We looked through the morning paper together. She has gone to bed and I am at the computer not knowing what to do on my day off from work? I am tired and do not feel like doing anything. The sun is shining outside on this cold winter morning. I have nothing to write. There is nothing new on my mind this morning. I am just freaked these days knowing I am getting oldier and I do not want to die and go to hell. There is no peace for the wicked. A horrible thought to know there is no rest for the wicked, just eternal punishment. In hell is eternal torment. There is no escape from hell once you are there. Once you die there is no second chances. We either you go to hell or heaven. I want to be absolutely sure I am going to heaven and not to hell. What can I do today to make sure I am going to heaven and not hell? I do not know what to do that I have not done already. I am just living a normal Christian existence. I am not living a life of sin. I am doing what a normal Christian human being does on his day off from work. Well I will close to go through my day off. I will close quoting Hebrews chapter 10 "1: For the law having a shadow of good things to come, and not the very image of the things, can never with those sacrifices which they offered year by year continually make the comers thereunto perfect. 2: For then would they not have ceased to be offered? because that the worshippers once purged should have had no more conscience of sins. 3: But in those sacrifices there is a remembrance again made of sins every year. 4: For it is not possible that the blood of bulls and of goats should take away sins. 5: Wherefore when he cometh into the world, he saith, Sacrifice and offering thou wouldest not, but a body hast thou prepared me: 6: In burnt offerings and sacrifices for sin thou hast had no pleasure. 7: Then said I, Lo, I come (in the volume of the book it is written of me,) to do thy will, O God. 8: Above when he said, Sacrifice and offering and burnt offerings and offering for sin thou wouldest not, neither hadst pleasure therein; which are offered by the law; 9: Then said he, Lo, I come to do thy will, O God. He taketh away the first, that he may establish the second. 10: By the which will we are sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all. 11: And every priest standeth daily ministering and offering oftentimes the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins: 12: But this man, after he had offered one sacrifice for sins for ever, sat down on the right hand of God; 13: From henceforth expecting till his enemies be made his footstool. 14: For by one offering he hath perfected for ever them that are sanctified. 15: Whereof the Holy Ghost also is a witness to us: for after that he had said before, 16: This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, saith the Lord, I will put my laws into their hearts, and in their minds will I write them; 17: And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more. 18: Now where remission of these is, there is no more offering for sin. 19: Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the blood of Jesus, 20: By a new and living way, which he hath consecrated for us, through the veil, that is to say, his flesh; 21: And having an high priest over the house of God; 22: Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water. 23: Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;) 24: And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: 25: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. 26: For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins, 27: But a certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation, which shall devour the adversaries. 28: He that despised Moses' law died without mercy under two or three witnesses: 29: Of how much sorer punishment, suppose ye, shall he be thought worthy, who hath trodden under foot the Son of God, and hath counted the blood of the covenant, wherewith he was sanctified, an unholy thing, and hath done despite unto the Spirit of grace? 30: For we know him that hath said, Vengeance belongeth unto me, I will recompense, saith the Lord. And again, The Lord shall judge his people. 31: It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God. 32: But call to remembrance the former days, in which, after ye were illuminated, ye endured a great fight of afflictions; 33: Partly, whilst ye were made a gazingstock both by reproaches and afflictions; and partly, whilst ye became companions of them that were so used. 34: For ye had compassion of me in my bonds, and took joyfully the spoiling of your goods, knowing in yourselves that ye have in heaven a better and an enduring substance. 35: Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward. 36: For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise. 37: For yet a little while, and he that shall come will come, and will not tarry. 38: Now the just shall live by faith: but if any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him. 39: But we are not of them who draw back unto perdition" Hebrews 10:1-39 "It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God" Hebrews 10:31 The Great Depression a story by Bethany Bethany Keen 5th hour Great Depression Story Today's fieldwork was extremely hard on me. I can feel the cracks in my hands grow more sore each day. My skin is parched from the hot sun, and I almost fainted a couple times today. Of course I wasn't able to take a water break or sit in the shade for awhile. John and Spencer spent the day gathering our dinner, frozen veggies and birds they managed to kill with their sling shots. I never thought the day would come when the boys play would also turn into our way of supper. I think baby Mary is starting to become malnourished, as well as the boys. They can't sleep at night and their clothes are starting to wither off their bodies. I never thought the day would come when I couldn't keep my kids healthy and well. My name is Lilly and I'm as of right now working in the fields of California. Gathering fruit. Three months ago, my family and I were forced to move from our home in the panhandle of Oklahoma. My husband's family farm, passed down from generation to generation was literally turned to a pile of dust. The dust storms that have taken over the Great Plains, has been blowing for eight years now and we couldn't live any longer in those conditions. We were all growing sick, and the farm wasn't bringing any income to feed the children. I miss Allan that's my husband. He went out East to try and find what work he could, while the kids and I drove out here with our neighbors. It's been two months since he's written and I'm starting to worry. I just hope he's well and finding work. I letter with a few dollars would come in very handy right now. The first month we were here, he wrote and all he said was that he was all right and all the men were sticking together. Just like Allan, too much pride in his heart to except any offerings from other people, he would just call it a hand out, which wasn't needed and leave it at that. Oh well as stubborn as he is, he loves us and I know someday, someday very soon he will be able to come back and we can all live together again. All this had to start with the depression, if the Dust storms wasn't worse enough we needed the stock market crash to hurt us even more. Thank goodness we didn't have our whole lives bought up in that cursed thing. I still remember the day though�. Black Tuesday we call it. Allan just walked into the house, threw the newspaper down and walked out of the house, I could see for myself what had happened. Of course it took a little while for it really to effect us, and for the farm to being to really slide down hill. My friend Emily who lives in New York wrote me the first extra time she had that crazy day. I just remember things standing out in the letter, like, everything's gone, why did I buy so much, where am I going to live, who am I going to turn too. Some men, better yet bankers were so distraught the turned to just taking their own lives and leaving all their problems for someone else to handle, imagine looking up to a bank building and seeing them jump. I just hope and pray for my family's well being that this whole mess will just clear up and be over with. Before the crash, everyone was so happy and full of life. You should have seen our farm before the rain stopped. Soft lush green fields for as far as the eye could see, rolling over the hills and leveling off in the sunset. I'm reminded again of the pain in my body, it always comes rushing back to me. Sometimes though I can just day dream and forget all my troubles. I looked at myself in the mirror the other night; a good hard look and I couldn't believe what I saw. I'm 32 years old, but look as if I could be 50. I used to have long soft healthy black hair, and my skin was as smooth as cream, I had to cut my hair short to make it easier to handle in the heat and the sun as taken every big of moisture from my skin. There is hope in all of this, that soon someone will do something about this horrible mess and people will start to pull their lives back together. President Franklin Roosevelt, has a new plan and the NRA are hard at work. I hear baby Mary crying she must be hungry. 12:27 p.m. - 2002-01-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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