glorycloud's Diaryland Diary


therapy session reflections

Yesterday at 2 o'clock PM Thursday I had another therapy session with a therapist. I do not know for sure how many sessions I have had with this therapist. I had not seen this therapist, let's call him by his name James, in five weeks. It is crazy how fast those five weeks went by! I could tell when Jim and I were talking (I only have an hour to unload) he could not recall immediately my Life Story like that I was married, three grown children with eight grandchildren etc. . . I suppose the first question Jim the therapist asked me "How was I doing?" My immediate response was "Normal". I usually reply when folks ask me how I am doing I answer Normal. I explained to Jim that normal means for me I am OK. I am coping with all the demands of life/the pressures of living in a fallen sinful world.

I did share with Jim (the therapist) an experience I had a couple of weeks ago when Carol and I were out visiting thrift stores. I told Jim that at one thrift store Carol and I were at checking out their old used books I suddenly felt that I was "cracking inside". I was feeling sick inside. Everything made me feel sick and I wanted to go away someplace where I could feel not so closed in. Everything around me was turning stale and ugly all of sudden. Books were making me feel dirty and sick and it was Time to go home. Carol and I went for lunch after visiting this thrift store. Over lunch I shared with Carol what I was going through. I suddenly realized the horrible FACT I was not going to Always feel good inside. I had had six weeks of feeling good and not suffering from a dark mood But now I knew that I would not feel good All the time. But must go through feeling not good inside every day but would still need to exercise Faith and not give into being negative or giving into passively or depression. Basically that is what I shared with my therapist. I told my therapist that realize have to continue living a life of prayer/seeking the Lord even when I am not feeling good OK. I have to continue resisting surrendering to negative thoughts/trains of thought/pray morning and night/strip myself of activities that would quench the Spirit or wound my conscience.

I should mention during this session I shared with my therapist how my wife's Christian life has convicted me of my lack of Christian spirituality. My wife is a holy woman and I live constantly in the light of her holiness/Christ-likeness. I have come to realize I told my therapist that I have come to accept my Christian spirituality and not feel threatened by wife's Christian spirituality. The Body of Christ has different personalities/my wife is a part of the Body of Christ and I am also a member of the Body of Christ. The Lord Jesus loves me as much as He loves my wife. We are both saved by grace and not works. We my wife and I are both In Christ and clothed with His righteousness/declared justified before the Lord God.

I now feel free to be who I am for example in prayer with my wife. My wife has her way of praying and I have my way of praying/we have different spiritual concerns/petitions/supplications/holy desires/spiritual burdens etc. . .

I did share also with my therapist that Carol is leaving/visiting our daughter Beth and her family in Denver CO next week and I do not look forward to being alone for Seven days and nights. I told the therapist Carol's spirituality keeps me balanced/her world is my world and when she is gone my world seems gone/Carol is my spiritual sunlight/positive vibes. But Carol feels it is her responsibility to visit our children's families/build relationships with our grandchildren etc. . . I see the spiritual benefit of my wife visiting our children and their families/letting her holy light Christ-likeness shine before our children and grandchildren/a display of the mercy, grace, and love of the Lord Jesus Christ/a testimony of the God's salvation In Christ/to awaken our offspring to the need to be saved and to be growing in Christ Jesus.

Anyway more could be written, but the hour session was soon over. The therapist Jim and I have an appointment for another session in five weeks/sometime in the month of December 2021.

7:47 p.m. - 2021-11-12


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