glorycloud's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- is it spiritual or fruits of severe depression and anxiety? It is 3:45 PM Friday afternoon here in West Michigan. It has been in the low 70’s today. It already feels like early Autumn. This morning when I got up it was 61 degrees. I had to put on warm clothes this morning when I got up to face the day. I got up this morning around 8 o’clock AM. When I got up Carol was getting ready to do an errands and then go to a dentist appointment. I made myself oatmeal for breakfast and after breakfast Carol and I had devotions/prayed and she left. I went for a walk and when I got home I left for the local library used books store The Book Nook, where I volunteer from 10 AM till 1 PM. The Book Nook was not busy so I sat and read my pocket New Testament on The Gospel of Mark. After I volunteered at the Book Nook I came home ate lunch and then mowed the lawn back and front. There is not much else to write this afternoon. I took my Xanax early this afternoon because I was feeling weird. I keep wondering if I am normal or mentally ill? I do not feel like my old self since I had that crack-up a month ago. What is strange is all the changes I have undergone would be considered being born again or I have experienced the New Birth. Which means maybe I was never actually saved up till a month ago. Maybe what I have experienced is being saved. Or maybe I have undergone something that is a manifestation of mental illness or the by products of a crack-up. Did I experience something spiritual a month ago or was it a super bad experience of depression and anxiety? Am I right now OK or is it going to get worse what ever this is that I am undergoing? It torments me that we can not find anyone to tell me or explain to me what it is I am experiencing right now/is it spiritual or fruits of severe depression and anxiety? Carol and I have called everyone we can to find help but found nothing thus far. This afternoon I desperation called my Behavioral Health Specialist to ask her these questions before I go nuts. I will close to wait for a phone call. 4:05 p.m. - 2021-07-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||