glorycloud's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Time Lapse It is 8:39 PM Friday night here in West Michigan. My Behavioral Health Specialist did not return my phone call. But my brother-in-law who works for the County Mental Health Services contacted Carol (texted her) and said he could drop by after work with a list of folks we could contact seeking therapy/counseling. So Cal stopped by and we talked (he had read my online diary entry that I had posted in my Facebook account crying out for help) about what I have been going through. Cal basically assured me I am not going crazy. What I have been experiencing since the Crisis I had a month ago is normal. I am adjusting to having my world turned up side down. Cal said I should see what I am going through as a Journey of discovery/learning new things about myself. I did tell Cal the changes I have made I have been thinking about doing for a long time I just never acted of them. I knew I was giving in to negative things/I knew I was soaking up all the negative stuff on the internet News/I knew I was getting tired of the music I had been listening to/I knew I was buying stuff that I did not need or have room for (books). I knew I needed to spend more time in prayer and reading/studying the Bible instead of wasting time on the internet/Youtube etc. . . I have realized I must actively resist negative thoughts/the sin of unbelief. I must actively exercise Faith and actively direct my Mind to God. I need to pray for active Faith active spiritual affections. I need to pray to not become so self focused and more outside focused towards God, saints, and people. All these changes are positive changes and not something that is bad/not something that is hiding from me my depression and anxiety. Now I still need therapy/counseling addressing my long time depression and anxiety issues/but it seems I am presently on the right track and need to keep going forward. Next month I have my sixth month physical with my doctor and will ask him some questions also concerning all that I have recently gone through. 8:59 p.m. - 2021-07-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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