glorycloud's Diaryland Diary

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silence is golden

--- patmos816 wrote:
> That’s how it is here constantly raining for the past week and possibly this coming week. Once you get your bookcases filling them up should give your mind something to do that will ease some of the panic and anxiety I bet, so that’s something to look forward to

Jonny Glorycloud
My wife told me the same thing last night. Sometimes I wonder if my problem with depression and anxiety is due to having material possessions like books and CD's-maybe if I just had a Christian library and just studied the Bible/prayed the Bible/heard the Bible preached and taught I would FEEL not condemned/so lost? Maybe I need to take a vow of poverty-forsake everything and follow Jesus like a monk? But I know that is not realistic. My wife and I are simple Christians/we own books and not really into anything out of the world-basics to maintain life in this American capitalistic system-we got to pay our taxes-pay off bills-support the Lord's Work-pay for medical insurance etc. . . The other day I received from some Christian Reformed Ministry wanting to know if we wanted to go with a group of Reformed Christians on a cruise to Turkey (the places where the Apostle Paul ministered)-cost for two people $8,000.00 dollars! I once got an e-mail from a Reformed group for a Reformation Tour cost $12,000.00 dollars! Now that to me insane! I feel ungodly sometimes just buying a solid Christian book for $30.00 dollars. Anyway once we have the new book cases I am planning of getting rid of a couple more thousand books-just get down to the basic (not getting rid of any of our Christian books though)

I mainly read and study the Bible-I am really into/feel possessive about my secular books except maybe my Beat Collection/Modern classics-anyway I do plan to empty the lower level more of secular books. I am also thinking of selling my CD music collection since my left ear is now damaged-constant buzzing sound. O! how I miss the sound of silence/pure mental silence is not gone-makes me feel sick-also depressed-a prisoner to a constant buzzing sound-I have always loved silence especially the silence of morning time-getting up and just hearing silence/birds. Now that is no more-sad and maddening!

6:30 p.m. - 2021-06-27

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