glorycloud's Diaryland Diary

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the essence of sin is an attack on God's holy throne and His very existence

It is 12:10 PM Monday afternoon here where I do my little dance of death. Spinning around and around on a death cycle. It is a cold gray afternoon. All day I have felt ice flowing in my blood stream. I am also having a hard time staying awake. I understand now why one often finds old men asleep in their favorite chairs. Old men see no reason to stay consciousness. It easier for me to close my eyes and remember past events or just dream. I am dreaming my existence away. I know there is no state of unconsciousness in Hell or Heaven. One can not close ones eyes to the majesty of God in the Eternal State.

I got up this morning around 7:35 AM. When I got up Carol was dressed and getting ready to go for a walk with a friend. So I got up and got myself a cup of coffee and sat in our dining room waiting to wake up. Carol left for her walk and I wrote in my paper diary and read the Bible. In the mornings lately I have been reading Leviticus/Old Testament. I am reading along with Leviticus Andrew Bonar's commentary on Leviticus. After reading the Bible and Bonar I read, 'Puritan Reformed Theology' by Joel R. Beeke.

So the morning has gone and now I am drifting through the afternoon hours. Carol left around 9:15 AM this morning to have breakfast with friends and then do errands. Carol is not home from having breakfast with friends and doing errands.

Last night Carol and I watched PBS Mystery on TV and then Carol went to bed. I stayed up and read from a book titled, 'Red Pill' a novel by Hari Kunzru till Midnight.

Now it is another day in my own private death flow. Well, I will close to see what comes in the mail this afternoon. There is no way of escape.

12:29 p.m. - 2020-09-14

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