glorycloud's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- an eternal hunger which can nevermore be satisfied the spirit constantly intends to consume and devour God It is 8:38 AM Tuesday morning. I got up this morning as Carol was getting ready to leave for her trauma class at the hospital. I have been drinking coffee and waking up. I should take Rudy for a walk this morning. I have been messing with my lap top down here in the basement. I am now writing in my blogs to the music of Grant-Lee Phillips. Last night I watched television and read "The Spiritual Espousals" by John Ruusbroec. I will quote from "The Spiritual Espousals"--- "Our response to this coming and its effects By means of this touch Christ says interiorly within the spirit, "Go out, in exercises that are in accordance with this touch." This profound touch draws and invites our spirit to the most interior exercises which a creature can practice in a creaturely way when enlightened by created light. At these words of Christ, the spirit raises itself, by means of the amorous power, above works to that unity in which the living vein of this touch wells up. This touch calls the understanding to know God in his resplendence and it draws the amorous power to enjoy God without intermediary. The loving spirit desires to do this more than anything else, in both a natural and a supernatural way. By means of the enlightened reason the spirit raises itself up in interior observation, contemplating and observing its inmost depths where the touch abides. At this point, reason and all created light are unable to go further, for the divine resplendence which hovers there and which constitutes this touch blinds all created powers of vision by its presence, which is unfathomable. All powers of understanding which are enlightened by merely created light are here like the eyes of a bat when confronted with the sun's brightness. Nevertheless the spirit is constantly called and roused anew, by both God and itself, to fathom this deep stirring and to come to the knowledge of what God and this touch might be. The enlightened reason is constantly led to ask ever anew where the touch comes from and to make new soundings in order that it may follow this vein of honey to its source. But it knows as much about this on the first day of its attempt as it will ever know. Consequently the powers of reason and observation confess, "We do not know what it is," for the divine resplendence which hovers there repulses and blinds all powers of understanding by its very presence. In this way God dwells in his resplendent glory above all spirits in heaven and on earth. Those who, through the practice of virtue and interior exercises, have fathomed the depths of their being to its source, which is the door to eternal life, are able to experience the touch. God's resplendence shines there so brightly that all powers of reason and understanding are unable to go further and must passively give way before God's incomprehensible resplendence. But for a spirit which experiences this touch in its depths, even though reason and understanding fail when confronted with the divine resplendence and must remain outside the door, the amorous power desires to go further. Like the understanding, it has been called and invited, but it is blind and wishes only to enjoy. Now enjoying is more a matter of savoring and feeling than of understanding, and for this reason love goes in which understanding remains outside. Here begins an eternal hunger which can nevermore be satisfied. This is an interior craving and striving on the part of the amorous power and of the created spirit to attain an uncreated good. Because the spirit desires to enjoy God and has been called and invited to this by him, it constantly wishes to fulfill this desire. Here begin an eternal craving and striving which can never be satisfied. Persons experiencing this are the most pitiable people alive, for they are afflicted with the disease of bulimia and so are filled with ravenous craving. Regardless of what they eat or drink, they are never satisfied, for their hunger is eternal. A created vessel cannot contain an uncreated good, and for this reason these persons suffer an eternally tormenting hunger, while God is like an overflowing stream which yet does not satisfy them. Here there are huge courses of food and drink of which no one knows except a person who is experiencing all this, but a thoroughly satisfying enjoyment of such fare is the one dish that is missing. As a result, the pangs of hunger return again and again. Even so, in the touch there flow streams of honey full of all delight, for the spirit savors these delights in every way that can be thought of or imagined. All this is, however, in a creaturely manner and beneath God, and for this reason there is a never-ending hunger and restlessness. Even if God gave such a person all the gifts which the saints possess and everything else which he is able to give, but without giving himself, the ravenous craving of the spirit would still remain voracious and unsatisfied. God's interior stirring and touch make us hunger and strive, for the Spirit of God is pursuing our spirit. The more there is of the touch, the more there is of the hunger and striving. This is a life of love at the highest level of activity, above reason and understanding, for reason can here neither give love nor take it away, since our love has been touched by divine love. In my opinion, from this time on there can never again be any separation from God. God's touch within us, as far as we experience it, and our striving in love are both created and creaturely, and for this reason they can grow and increase as long as we live. In this storm of love two spirits struggle-the Spirit of God and our spirit. God, by means of the Holy Spirit, inclines himself towards us, and we are thereby touched in love; our spirit, by means of God's activity and the amorous power, impels and inclines itself toward God, and thereby God is touched. From these two movements there arises the struggle of love, for in this profound meeting, in this most intimate and ardent encounter, each spirit is wounded by love. These two spirits, that is, our spirit and God's Spirit, cast a radiant light upon one another and each reveals to the other its countenance. This makes the two spirits incessantly strive after one another in love. Each demands of the other what it is, and each offers to the other and invites it to accept what it is. This makes these loving spirits lose themselves in one another. God's touch and his giving of himself, together with our striving in love and our giving of ourselves in return-this is what sets love on a firm foundation. This flux and reflux make the spring of love overflow, so that God's touch and our striving in love become a single love. Here a person becomes so possessed by love that he must forget both himself and God and know nothing but love. In this way the spirit is consumed in the fire of love and enters so deeply into God's touch that it is overcome in all its striving and comes to nought in all its works. It transcends its activity and itself becomes love above and beyond all exercises of devotion. It possesses the inmost part of its creatureliness above all virtue, there where all creaturely activity begins and ends. This is love in itself, the foundation and ground of all the virtues. Now our spirit and this love are both living and fruitful in virtues, and for this reason the powers cannot simply remain in the unity of the spirit. God's incomprehensible resplendence and his fathomless love hover above the spirit and from there touch the amorous power, and at this the spirit falls back into its activity, this time in a more sublime and fervent striving than ever before. The more fervent and noble the spirit, the faster will it transcend its activity and come to nought in love; then it falls back into new works. This is a heavenly way of life. In its craving, the spirit constantly intends to consume and devour God, but in fact it remains swallowed up in God's touch, becomes unable to proceed in all its activity, and itself becomes love above all works. In the unity of the spirit there is a union of the higher powers, and here grace and love abide essentially, above works, for this is the source of charity and all the virtues. Here there is an eternal flowing out in charity and in virtues, and an eternal movement inward marked by an interior hunger for savoring God, and an eternal abiding in simple, undifferentiated love. All this is in a creaturely manner and beneath God. This is the most interior exercise a person can practice when enlightened by created light, whether in heaven or on earth; above this is only the contemplative life, which is lived in the divine light and after God's own manner. In this exercise a person cannot go astray or be deceived. It begins here in grace and will last eternally in glory." pp. 113-116 John Ruusbroec It is going on on 10 o'clock AM Tuesday morning. I will close to read my Bible and wander my cell. The Lord is good. 9:48 a.m. - 2009-10-20 1:04 p.m. - 2010-12-01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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