glorycloud's Diaryland Diary

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fat retired and sexless

It is 8:31 PM Thursday evening. After work Carol and I went out for dinner. When we got home we went to bed. I got up to write and Carol is packing for her get away.

music Thievery Corporation "The Richest Man In Babylon"

Today I killed my Self from 6:15 AM till 5 o'clock PM.

Right now I am too blown to write anything that would make sense.

In the mail today I received a Caedmon recording of the actor Matt Dillon reading Kerouac's novel "On The Radio".

Last all I remember doing was looking at my books and going to bed around 9 o'clock PM.

I mainly looked at the hardback book "Picasso: Portrait of Picasso as a Young Man" by Norman Mailer last night before passing out from exhaustion.

At work today as I hauled eggs I wrote down these words to remind me of stuff to write about tonight if I had the presence of mind-

84 year old presence of God [I have been wondering if Carol's mother who is 84 years old and very frail experiences the felt presence of God? Does Carol's mother feel the inner strength of God in her weakness? Carol's mother has been a professing Christian all her life, so you would think she is very close and intimate with the Lord Jesus.]

fat retired sexless [I hate to think when I am retired from working at the egg pit I will become fat and lose any interest in making love. How sad to be an old man with a big belly and no desire to get lost in the fires of love making]

Job on the ash heap [today as I worked like a old work horse I was thinking of the man Job mentioned in the Old Testament-The Book of Job chapter 2 verse 8 "And he took for himself a potsherd with which to scrape himself while he sat in the midst of the ashes."

"Indeed we count them blessed who endure. You have heard of the perseverance of Job and seen the end intended by the Lord-that the Lord is very compassionate and merciful" James 5:11

"whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away" James 4:14

Right now at 8:43 PM I have no presence of mind to write anything that would make sense when I am dead and gone.

Well Carol is about to leave so I will close to say goodbye to my wife lover.

music: Xiu Xiu "Air Force"

9:19 p.m. - 2006-09-14

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