glorycloud's Diaryland Diary

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Work Week #461

Work Week #460

It is around 3:30 PM in the afternoon. I am eating a fabulous blueberry dessert Carol made yesterday. Carol and Bethany are sleeping. My two sons are away at college. I took a nap after the afternoon meal. Carol and I went to church this morning. It is a hot Sunday in West Michigan. Existence keeps going by. What to do before going back to church this evening? It is the first day of a new work week for me. All I have read today is some of Durham and the Sunday morning paper. I wrote in my diary this morning. I wandered the basement looking at my library this morning. I know very few Christians read the type of books in my library. Most Christians in the world have never heard of the English Puirtans or even read a book by a 17th cent. Puritan. Most Christians do not know the doctrines of the Bible. I doubt if Peter the new fellow at work who claims to be a Christian could explain to me the biblical doctrine of justification by Faith. I doubt if he has ever heard of the Five Points of Calvinism. So really all my spiritual knowledge is of no worth. I live among anti-intellectuals. The kind of Christians who know the Truth are the ones you will find at the bottom of the egg pit. Most people and Christians are living in a make believe world that one day will pop like a bubble when the world goes up in smoke. But right now millions and millions of people and Christians are chasing after wind hoping to find happiness in non-reality. I find it sad to see all around me people living for things that will not mean anything on the Day of Judgement. People will not need cell phones in hell. Money and beauty will mean nothing in heaven. All that is important is if I have assurance of eternal salvation. Do I know the Lord Jesus as my Saviour and Lord?

I look around me in the Christian world I do not know if what I see if real? I know of no Christian tradition I would recommend to my children or friends. There is no real biblical church just places people who claim to be Christians do their thing in the name of God or some theological or spiritual tradition. In the end all we can do is live by Faith. Everything is a mystery. To me living the Christian life is seeking to live by the Word of God. The Bible tells me I am to work six days a week and rest on the seventh. I work five days a week and rest the sixth and Sunday I start another week at the bottom of the egg hole waiting for the End. Last week the new fellow working with me said he wants to climb the ladder at the Egg Division. I told him there is no ladder to climb, you will be putting eggs into the egg processing machine until you are an old man. Peter did not believe me, he has fallen for the lie of the American Dream. As for me I will wait for death by the egg processing machine. I work out my salvation with fear and trembling as I slowly rot besides the egg processing machine. There is nothing else in this sin cursed world. This american world is not my home. I have a home beyond skies. "These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off were assured of them, embraced them and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth" Hebrews 11:13. My biggest problem is finding the physical strength to work at my job till I can retire. I wish I was a big muscle man so I would not tire of putting eggs into the mouth of the egg processing machine. I need more physical strength if I am not to drown in despair and exhaustion.

This morning during the service the minister was reading from the Gospel of John chapter 14 this verse I heard as I was fighting to stay awake "And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything in My name, I will do it" John 14:13,14. I immediately prayed silently to the Lord to deliver me from my job. To give me a meaningful life. To set me free from the egg pit and give me rest from slavery. God can do all things and surely He can give me a life free from egg pain. I am tired of going to work and climbing the mountain of death. When I get to the top of the mountain all I see is death and not rest. I do not want a ton of money I just want freedom from exhaustion and emptiness. I want to go home and see the face of God.

In the meantime I live among those seeking wind. I can not live outside the Light of divine reality.

Well I will close to sit here waiting it out.

4:05 p.m. - 2002-09-08

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